We waited for it! That the clever man came, explained everything to us about the relations and taught how to live long and happily. Meet – James Killinger, the most categorical psychologist in the world who will give answers to eternal women’s issues.
Let’s talk about a situation when the man finds for the wife not enough time (according to her, certainly).
I will begin with a tough thesis at once: there are women who will lack attention from the man. Even so: ALWAYS. What the man did, no matter how hard he tried, for such women – his attention will always be insufficiently.
What kind of girls are they? A lot, tons of them.
Ooh!. Here the tough thesis is stated, readers are revolted (readers, perhaps, are happy), it is a high time to reduce intensity of emotions and to understand everything detailed.
For women in the list of priorities of the relation are on the first place, and at men – on the third (on the first – business).
Actually, in it the reason of usual shortage of attention from the man also is (here I take an average situation; a situation from a joke where the wife meets the husband in a gas mask, and he does not notice even it, we do not consider).
Making the relations with the man the center of all her life (and many women do it), it is just impossible to receive from him enough attention. It is purely physically impossible. One person cannot satisfy such passion of other person.
Allow to explain. The person – the personality versatile is normal. It has various requirements, motives, the purposes, interests, hobbies. All of them are built in some (rather conditional) hierarchy. Communication between them is complex, not always easily counted – it is normal.
Such difficult inner world (we will call all this so) appeared at the person not just like that. Among other things such complexity makes the person stronger: if it did not turn out in one place, then it will turn out in another. Failure and uncombed feelings at work are brightened up by happy matrimonial and family life. Yes, at work the chief scolded, subordinates brought, suppliers substituted, clients did not pay … But houses children cheerful, the spouses/spouse smile, embrace, support.
And if the house is not glued, there are friends/girlfriend with whom it is possible to discuss all most important subjects.
Generally, for the healthy person it is normal to possess several purposes, motives, requirements and so on – generally, rich inner world. That possession is very useful because strengthens psychological well-being of the person.
Alas, there are people (and now we speak about those from them, who women), who somehow narrow the inner world to one person. Work, interests, and the girlfriend – all this is subordinated to one. Namely: to happiness near this man.
And all nothing, but such focusing leads to an unpleasant distortion – such woman in life has one and only entertainment. Relations. It is inevitable – the rest not important, is not interesting, gray if to compare to the relations.
And here we (and the mentioned women) are waited by blow.
If the relations is the biggest entertainment in life, then these relations will never be good. Because entertainment is good only when there are different emotions – somewhere to be frightened, to strain somewhere, to be delighted somewhere.
Look at driving from the hill on the sledge. In the beginning it is terrible, in process it is fascinating, below – it is cheerful. There is an excellent entertainment. If the relations at the woman – the only entertainment, she you diligently make them worse that it was more fascinating that was about what to worry. All as in note heading – such woman of attention of the husband will never be enough.
She will suffer that it has not enough attention, will browse the Internet and will surely come across advice givers, will ask it a question in comments, will swear with somebody in the same place, will write a big post on “Facebook”, but will erase and will go to make tea, but will forget about it, having burst into tears at a window from the disappointment, then will write to the man a message that he does not appreciate it and in general her life is awful, then will reject his calls because it, a reptile such, insincerely remembered it, and before even did not think to call … Generally, the heroine will miraculously spend our time. It is filled, alive, emotionally.
Only happiness will not increase – the man will very quickly run away from such relations and turn to Jasminlive for appreciation for what he does for a girl. Who is stronger spirit, that will just leave. Who is shakier – will die (in literal sense, from eternal hassle at it the immunity will weaken, and there any infection can become deadly).
And the woman will remain one. Then will find to itself the new man and again will narrow all the world to it one. Further – according to the known scenario.
What with all this to make? The answer is obvious – to be engaged also in the life too. As one young lady when she put the specified council into practice gracefully formulated, “I began to spend more time out of the relations, it is more for itself”.
Certainly, it does not mean that it is necessary to chuck in the man and to be engaged only in campaigns, for example, on shops. It means that in life it is worth being engaged in anything miscellaneous, and not just the man.
And then – suddenly! – the problem of shortage of attention will weaken, and even will disappear. Even it is more – the man who tried to evade from communication before (for example, to be locked in a toilet), will begin to aspire to this woman, to look for opportunities to stay together. Such here paradox. And all because the woman is engaged not only to them, but also the life.
Remembering the list of priorities where men on the first-place business, and at women on the first place have relations, it is possible to tell so: it would be far better if both had relations on the second place. It considerably simplified and would improve life of this couple.
Well and as the summary, short and it is extremely categorical.
The essence of a note is simple. The husband pays to the woman not enough attention? This woman should be engaged in the life. And many women have that nothing, except the relations, no. No man will be able to survive if he at the woman the only joy, and all the rest – only a hindrance on the way to it. The man either will die, or will run away. Not to lose the man, it makes sense to the woman to counterbalance the relations with it with other purposes, motives and interests – work, children, girlfriends, hobbies, practices, activities and so on.
That is it for now, thanks for attention.